"In all of living have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured!"
~ Gordon B. Hinckley

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Space for Dreams

I tend to fret and stress and worry an unhealthy amount. In fact, I do it so obsessively sometimes that it literally makes me physically ill. Often. I've been doing much better in general lately...but then this week, while home alone with my baby, I had to go and accidentally get locked inside a second story bedroom in my completely locked house for several hours with no phone and no way to let anyone know where I was or that I needed help, and no way for them to get in to my house even if they did manage to find out I was locked in one of the rooms inside. Thank heaven it didn't happen just a few days earlier when my husband was out of town for 8 days with spotty communication, or me and my baby could possibly have died or suffered serious health complications before anyone missed us.

Everything worked out fine in the end (there might be a post coming about that experience...or maybe not), but my mind has been especially traumatized since then with millions of ways for terrible things to happen to me and/or my baby girl while just doing normal, non-dangerous, everyday things. I just want to sit on the couch and hold her all day so nothing bad happens to us, and stay up all night to make sure she doesn't stop breathing. I also haven't set foot in that bedroom for more than a few seconds since then. Still too scary.

It's getting out of control.

Earlier tonight I was looking at some potential housing online for the upcoming school year and the thought of having stairs and railings for my darling princess to fall down and get seriously injured terrified me to the point that I was ruling out all housing that wasn't 1-story.

But that's ridiculous! I want my little girl to learn to climb stairs! And I want her to learn to walk and dance, even if it means she needs to take some risks and fall several times. I want her to learn to love and enjoy life instead of being trapped by the haunting thoughts of things that probably won't ever happen. And I need to learn that I can't just stop doing everything because there is a chance of some freak accident or unforeseen horror happening. Like I just said; that's ridiculous!

I found a great quote on Pinterest (gotta love it!):
"A head full of fears has no space for dreams"
It's true. And now that I've successfully worried myself to pieces last week, it's time to move past that, let go of the worry, and make space for dreams instead! :)

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