"In all of living have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured!"
~ Gordon B. Hinckley

Sunday, November 10, 2013

November 9th: Zofran

Today I am thankful for Zofran (an anti-nausea medication). I was feeling preeeetty nauseous this morning. I think it was my whatever-they-are, still-undiagnosable nausea issues acting up, and not necessarily anything relating to pregnancy. It probably doesn't help that I haven't been eating particularly well for the past few days, and I've been especially stressed about labor and delivery recently. Add on top of that the fact that stress and worry upsets my stomach, which then makes me anxious because of my phobia of vomiting, so I get more nauseous, and then more anxious, and even more nauseous...ugh. It's a vicious cycle that gets out of hand easily, and it's even harder when the nausea randomly and suddenly shows up and is bad to begin with like it was today. After a few hours, I finally got to a point where the nausea backed down just enough for me to be able to take some Zofran without feeling like I would throw it back up the second I tried to swallow it. Not too long after that, the meds kicked in and the nausea cleared up a TON. It's amazing the difference one little pill can make.

I really don't like to take medicine if I can help it. But thinking back to a few years ago, before I knew about Zofran, and back a little less far to the time I knew about it but my insurance only covered 12 4-hour pills a month and I stopped responding to them for some reason, as compared to now when I finally decided to give Zofran another shot and I can get as much as I need with my insurance and they usually provide nearly complete relief (I changed pharmacies, so maybe that has something to do with why it stopped working, and then started working again?), those little pills have literally changed my life. Maybe a more accurate way to explain it is that they have given me my life back. I used to be so sick all the time that I couldn't be Karin anymore, and there was no end in sight. While there still isn't much of an "end" in sight considering I still don't have a diagnosis or treatment, I do have a medicine that helps me cope with my symptoms. Without it, I'm pretty sure I would be in a very dark place right now, and probably wouldn't be much of myself at all.

There probably wouldn't be much of my physically either. Back during that really hard period of time, I was so frequently nauseous - especially after eating anything - that for awhile I was basically starving myself because I was just so terrified of vomiting that I couldn't eat. Strangers would randomly comment about how skinny I was. It was weird. I know it sounds ridiculous. People throw up all the time. It's life. It's normal. It shouldn't be that big of a deal. What on earth is so scary about a stomach ache? But for me it's a huge deal. I know it's a totally irrational fear, but it's still very real, and very strong.

All of that just makes me even more grateful that Zofran exists, and that it has helped me so sooo much to get myself mostly back to my normal happy self!

And I am also incredibly grateful to all the cancer patients who suffered through the nausea associated with chemotherapy (in addition to all the other many many many things that cancer patients suffer through), because without their suffering and nausea, this medication never would have been invented to treat it, which means it definitely never would have become available to someone like me.

Modern medicine definitely has its flaws, but at the same time, it is SUCH a gift and a blessing!!!

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