"In all of living have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured!"
~ Gordon B. Hinckley

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

The Burping Machine

There are so many other much more important and interesting things that I really should have given blogging priority over this, so I feel slightly ridiculous writing this post...but for whatever reason it's on my mind and I feel like blogging! So here we go!

Chances are, if you don't know me well, you think I'm a quiet, perfectly well-mannered little girl. If you know me reasonably well, you've probably heard me burp a couple times. And if you've ever lived with me, or know me well at all, you'll know that I burp a lot. Like, a LOT. Story of my life. There must be something a little messed up inside of me, because I seriously can't not burp like 15-20+ times a day, and it's often on the louder side. As in like a chest-rattling, from-the-depths-of-your-bowels kind of belch. (My little brother referred to it as "atomic belching")

Lucky for me, burping usually relieves my nausea considerably if not completely! Not so lucky for me, burping is not very polite.

When I was little (ok, actually I was in high school), my parents decided to do something about my constant burping. They made a list of 6 different chores to do as punishment, and each time I burped I had to roll a die and do the chore with the number I had rolled. That didn't quite work out as well as intended since my body just burps no matter what I do. It's kind of like trying to get your kid to stop using the bathroom by punishing them every time they go. It's just not going to happen. They might get better at holding it...but they'll never stop having to go. And since I burp much more after eating, and especially after drinking anything, of course most of my burping happened while we were still around the dinner table when my parents were right there to hear it, even when I was doing my best to hold it in. Needless to say, I rolled that chore die a lot.

Then I got to college, my roommates and I kind of did our own thing for food and didn't really have sit-down meals, so I got a lot more careless about trying to tone down my never-ending belches. The consequence: the burping bowl. We put out a small glass bowl, and every time I burped I had to put a penny in it. And if I burped really loud I had to pay a nickel. There were a lot of coins in that bowl. But one day some people came around collecting spare change door-to-door to donate to feed starving children in Africa, or for the Invisible Children, or something like that, and we donated all my burping money. So at least some good came of it :)


When I'm in public I usually try to be as discreet as I can (sometimes I'm a bit more successful than others), but every once in a while I forget. Or it's just too sudden to stifle. The usual response is something along the lines of, "that was YOU?", "how did something like that come out of such a little girl?", or "not again".  One time I was practicing the waltz with a ballroom partner and one just slipped out. I actually didn't even realize. (We weren't dancing at the moment, don't worry, I didn't burp in his face. We had taken a break to get a drink) My partner just stood there for a moment in awed amazement, and then told me if he could burp like that he would be the envy of his roommates. Another time, I went to get food with my boyfriend at the time, and a few other friends. Several chili cheese fries and a few sips of Sprite later, my body decided it was time for another "atomic belch", and for whatever reason my brain didn't register that I was in public and should try to tone it down. Oops. The guys we were with were very impressed though, and one of them even said if he had a girlfriend who could burp like that in public, he would get down on his knee right then and there are propose!

I'm guessing my amazing perpetual belching abilities didn't influence my husband's decisions to marry me...at least not positively haha, but he did still decide I am worth it, burps and all :) And interestingly enough, he is incapable of burping. Go figure. But it's ok, I more than make up for the both of us! And, as I said at the beginning, burping helps relieve my never-ending nausea...so let the belches continue!

4 comments:

  1. Hahaha oh the burping bowls and Jono... good memories :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. good history xd i am from Venezuela

    ReplyDelete
  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  4. That sounds like a lot of burping, haha, do you do burping contests? I have a friend and she likes to do burping contests, and it'd be cool if you two could burp it out against each other in a contest on like Skype, Gmail, or any video chatting software.

    ReplyDelete