"In all of living have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured!"
~ Gordon B. Hinckley

Friday, September 9, 2011

How Not to Transport a Kitten


I held the cutest little orange kitten today, and my life was nearly complete :) But then I gave it away. The end. And now for the beginning and middle of the story.

Trevor's sisters became the owners of a ridiculously adorable super tiny little orange kitten named Tigger, and took on the responsibility of finding him a good home. I LOVE kitties, so I decided to adopt him! Problem solved! Except I'm allergic, and Trevor doesn't like cats...so actually we had to scratch that plan.

I told one of my coworkers about the kitten though, and he happens to live in a very mouse-infested basement, and desperately wants a cat to kill the mice. Yesterday he even found one inside his blankets, and then it ran up inside his shirt. Sick!! This little kitty is feisty enough to attack the chihuahua and dominate, so the hope is that it will be a good mouser. So today I picked up the cat after work, and he came and took it home.

Slight problem...I didn't have a cat carrying cage and neither did Trevor's family. They gave me a tall box to put him in for the drive, which seemed like a plausible idea for just a less than 10-minute drive. Before I had even turned onto the next street the cat was already hanging over the side of the box, ready to jump out. I shoved him back in and kept driving, but he kept jumping out. At the first red light I shoved him back in the box (very lovingly of course :), folded some of the flaps over, and put one of my work shoes on top to keep it closed. Just a couple seconds later and he had knocked my shoe off the top and was climbing out again. I tried just shoving him back in a couple more times as I drove, and then finally I got to a red light long enough to fold down all the box flaps and interlock them, and put both work shoes on top. Another 30 seconds later and my shoes went flying off and out popped his little head, mewing loudly. Really? For the next few minutes I resorted to picking him up and putting him back in with one hand every three seconds or so as he climbed out, while driving with the other hand. There are waaaaay too many corners, red lights, crosswalks, pedestrians, and stop signs on that commute I've decided. And did I mention I was driving stick shift? At one point I absolutely needed both hands to drive, and of course the mischievous little kitten seized the opportunity to jump onto the floor of the car and start running around my feet and the pedals. That was really not cool, so I pulled over, folded down and interlocked all the flaps again, put both shoes on the box, and kept one hand firmly on the box the entire rest of the way home. Meanwhile, my coworker called me four times, but there was no way I was answering my phone and letting out the Houdini ninja kitten yet again.

We finally made it home safe and sound, and I got to play with the kitten for a couple minutes. He's so cute!! Then my coworker showed up, and he didn't have a kitty carrier either. His brilliant transport plan was also a cardboard box...strapped to the back of a motorcycle! What?! At least when the kitten jumped out of my box it was confined to the cab of the truck instead of plunging to an instantaneous death, and then being run over by cars! I was fairly certain that tomorrow I would be greeted on my drive to work by spattered bits of kitten, and I went inside and prayed my little heart out for that kitten's life! Then like 15 minutes later I got a text with a picture of a mouse that the kitten had already killed. So I guess he made it safe and sound, and is already getting down to business at "kitty Disneyland", as my coworker called his mouse-infested house.

So the sad news is that I don't have a kitten. But the good news is that the kitten is alive, and I am not responsible for cleaning the litter box, or cleaning up cat puke! All's well that ends well I suppose :)

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